A Closing Chapter
Is just twenty minutes past two on a raining saturday morning. Yeap, what a nice weather to curl yourself up in bed and go to sleep. I'm sure heading to my bed right after i am done with these entry today. Juz got back from a movie outing wiht my dear fren yw2k. Watched this movie called 23. Brainless to say the least. Anyway i know eFIL is waiting anxiously for this entry today. and here it is my fren ...as promised.
Lately have been going through a windwhirl of mix-emotion (most of you ppl will label me dramaqueen) but heck!! life can't be dull all the time right :) Anyway, today, it has reached for its closing chapter. Had a conversation these afternoon with these person, and the conversation somehow lead from one place to another and the next thing you know....like a bullet to your heart...BAM!!! it hit!!!The one statement these person made has somehow shown me the right path i should be taking all this while. The one statement these person made that has somehow show me how foolish and stupid i am to cling on to a false hope that was never be. The one statement these person made that makes me just wanan sprung up from my seat and start to throw chairs and table just to release my volcano-big-kahuna-reaction after hearing it. That one statement these person made today, that makes me to draw these conclusion........is time for me to move on.......
Is not a choice. Is not a "what if" situation. Is pretty clearcut. unless i still wanna be put into a fantasy world hoping the ending will be "they live happily ever after" writing across at the center of a white page, this is the right decision. Gott to move on. Is for my own good...is for these person own good....and also is for my frens own good too, not having to hear my drama stuff anymore ...hahah :) Really had a good long thought today as to what these person as to say to me. It is clearly drawn, no matter how much effort i put in, it is and has always been a one-way-street. And i must do thank these person for having hte guts to say whatever he had said today that brings me back to reality.
I have no hatred on these person, neither do i have anything to do wiht these person anymore. Yes, we are friend. And friend is the furthest it can be .....well thats how i see it for now. Can't really predict the future, can i. As for now, one thing for sure, i do have friends surrounding me to give me that support that i need and i do cherish it very much. Ppl like EFIL, he has to endure my whining and groninng these afternoon , although not that he careless . And on top of that, he make me abutter cake!! awwww.......i am soo touched ! :p I have ppl like the purple dinosaurs, who is one person that i tell n share anything everything under the sky. Alos ppl like yw2k, who tonight share a movie outing wiht me, thanks pal....How much more can i ask for ?.....
Time to close this chapter. No more drama drama entry stuff for awhile....i hope....hahahah. Weekend is here. Better get full-use of it. Rite peeps. I guess i see you ppl on the next entry..Till then , thanks guys. Last but not least, to my dear purple dinosaurs, like i told you these afternoon, i'm gonna put this in record here. Yeah...your babies are alll FARK UP! Period.
Labels: Personal Thoughts
Busy Busy Bee
It's going to be a busy week ahead of me. With a couple of projects running concurrently next week and also having to deal with the 2nd quarterly workshop, which is just another week or so, when everyone will be cranking their heads to learn the new choreo. And right after that have to conduct tuitions, another brain draining affairs (no pun intended :p) before start practicing for the 2nd quarter launch!! At the same time, have to juggle to do classes and also office work...wat lau eh!!!.....wonder where i do find the energy and stamina to do all this stuff. And mind you, i fall sick last two days. Started with a sore throat and later it got to fever. MC yesterday, slept whole day like a pig!! And i tot i could have a relax day today, not to exude myself too much, suddently got a call from office to ask me to come back today to attend a workshop.
Just like today, attended a half day workshop. Didn't really know that i need to do a presentation till the last minute and end up being bombarded with questions here and there and everywhere. By the time i finihsed my part, i can feel my whole body fills will bullet holes :p. Then gotta rush back to office in the afterrnoon to attend not one, but three meetings in a row!! WOW!!! DUring the last meeting today, was thinking how on earth am i gonna do double waves tonight!! LOL!! really cranking as it sound, YES i did double wave tonight. And the strangest thing of all, i don't feel any tired at all !!! the more i did the classes, the hyper it got into me. Gawd knows what came into me tonight, could be the participation from the members, but i must say, after 4 wave classes in a row, i feel GOOD!!! Infact , normally i would have quickly clean myself up and head str8 back home, but for tonight case, i actually stay back and did half of my dear comparante bstep class. I might be tired at the end of the day, but is a happy tired. Yeah, iam happy tonight. Atleast i feel serene and relax. Is a good change ....I hope it will stay that way for long.....
Labels: Personal Updates
I didn't pick up
Is saturday morning, eleven past one in the morning and here i am surfing on the net aimlessly while listening to my song (japanese song, from Ayaka). Was about to sleep soon, but decided to just login and see what is instore..As usual...nothing much to look forward obviously...
Something is bothering me tonight. Heard something that i am not suppose to hear. Kinda make me think about it the whole night. Have to put up a face as if it doesn't bother me at all while doing my classes tonight, but deep down it does very veyr much. I also don't know why it does bother me that much. IF that person goes wiht someone to somewhere, why would i be bother?? Why can't i just let it be and let it go? Why am i that hype up about it ? I seriously no idea. Issit wrong for that person to go someplace wiht someone and not letting me know about it ? This person do not need to tell me or say anyting to me as to watsoever about what he does in his pasttime, and yet here i am, hearing all this and i get bother by it. I have to stop thinking...i really ahve to stop thinking.....
This person called again tonight......I didn't pick up............
More about Me
I'm a music lover!! This i can confirmed!! I love music so so much!! Regardless wht genre, from rock to pop, from classical to jazz, from sentimental to comtemporary jazz, from trance to lounge music, from BuddhaBa to spiritual songs, u name it, i luvre it!!! And i do say i am suckers when comes to music updates. Espeacially with my current part-time job that requires me to even keep uptodate with current scenes. It really helps alot when i try to bring out the certain emotions and feelings on the songs for the members.
Whenever i have time to lepak at malls, never failed i will make a stop at music stores to checkout the latest cd releases. Even yw2k can confirm this. can remember he did said one time" Aiyoh, everytime i see you, sure u will get one cd hor? Wonder how many cds do you have in your collection these days". I do wonder myself too ......hahaha.. Was out yesterday night, a deserve rest from the gym. And guess what, got myself another cd.....It might shock you as much as it surprise me too, but i can't deny the fact, i am suckers of slow-sentimental love mushy songs guys....kakakaakk
Yeap, for the first time, i got myself a Barbra Streisand album yoh!!!! LOL!!!! Eat your heart out guys!!! And you know what? The songs r just SPLENDID to say the least!!! The lyrics of each song....gosh.....can just melt the chocolate there and then!!! Songs with title like ...You Don't Bring Me Flowers (aaawwww....), Tell Him (power vocal), I've Got A Crush On You, TIll I Love You.....Need i go more ? LOL!!! I can see ppl starting to throw rotten eggs at me liow !! ANd you know what? The ultimatum single tracks that propel me to get this cd...is none other than my all time favourite love song.......I Finally Found Someone........aaahhhh.....my heart just sink whenever i hear this song...Bring back good memories, and i do say good memories gusy.....Really missed it soo soo much..........Now someone, pls pass me a pillow and blanket, i need to curl myself into bed and cry..........:P
Labels: Personal Interest
I am NOT what i am
Its Monday guys..What more can i say...Things started slow these morning. Weekend was a pack with gym stuff and dinner with gymmates. Really took a toll outta me. Spent the whole day Saturday in the gym (no, i am not gym freaks if you guys r thinking here). Did my usual double class, and later a replacement before proceed to some special event for the nite. By the time everything ends, i was totally exhausted, mentally and physically. Next morning, gotta wake up early to go for Ching Meng. Got back round 11am ish, straight went to bed sleep till afternoon, woke up, went to gym again!! for a class before head back home and sleep again!! yeah!! i was that tired guyz.....Sunday night had dinner with my gym-mates. Enjoyed tremendously!! Special shout-out to our own TF- "thinbakeboys" in the house yoh! :) the chocolate was SINFUL to say the least, but nevertheless it taste SUPERBLY HEAVEN!!! Let me booked one for my next b'day yoh! :) hahahah..Wasn't really in my good form yesterday night. guess the oversleeping has somehow make me look more blur and out of state. Again, once the dinner was over, head straight back home, iron my shirt for next working day, caught some tv before i head to bed at sharp midnight!!!!!! hahahah.......Really can sleep yoh!!!
During the dinner yesterday, realised, most of my gymmates does come here to read my daily bloging rubbish. And is funny to know that, someone mentioned that the person who blogs in here, is sooooo different to the person in real-life. It really hit on me when i heard that comment. Not like i am tryin to be someone else while i'm blogging, but this is how i normally write or type. Maybe i don't normally type "l*n ah, t*u ah, m*t ch8t ah "all this words....hahahaha, but doesn't mean i am a totally different person in here. Hmm..nevertheless, i took the comment as a compliment. I hope my reallife is not that obnoxious or snobbish to make u think i am that bad in person yoh! :p
Is just after lunch, has some time to spare. Most of my msn mates are either away for lunch, or taking a nap now. Left me alone here in my cubicle. Nothing much to surf in the net. Obviously there are things are bothering me lately. As much as i wanan blog about it. But there are times when come to it, i just do not know how to put it words. Espeacially for the past couple of weeks or month so. Going through this whirlpool of mix-emotion lately. Really clouding my own judgement as to what i should do, whether what i am doing now is the right thing. As much i try not to get into me, but i guess my will-power is not has power as i hope to be. Already face a failure before, and yet i am still sticking my head into the hole again, hoping a light will shine at the end of the tunnel eventually. But after few attempts, i guess i know what is the outcome by now. Is a losing battle...i know....i should just move on.....I wanan be happy. I do not wanan think too much anymore. Maybe i am not as good as what i think or capable of. Maybe that is how the way it should be. Maybe......maybe is not meant to be......Maybe....i am just kidding myself here...Maybe i'm just being naive and foolish to think that i will stand a chance for it. Maybe there is just too many maybe in life.....Maybe if i don't think about it much, dont let it bother me anymore, than i might be a happier person these dayz. I hope......i wish....i really want to be happy as to what i am doing now.....Gawd, pls show me the right path here..i am really really lost.....
Labels: Personal Thoughts
Do i smell Delicious?
Suppose to have two classes on last saturday afternoon, but after some cahtting with this friend of mine, decided to make a detour for a window shopping in MV and at the same time managed to find a replacement for one of my class...hehee.. Wasn't expecting to buy or get anything. But in the end got myself a cologne from DKNY - Be Delicious. What ?? what kinda name of a men cologne you might say...Well, i have been always wanted to get this a long time, just that never had the chance to go really try out the smell. And last saturday was an opportunity for me to try it. DKNY came out wiht a new range which they called it....Red-Apple Be-Deliciious and Green-Apple Be-Delicious....heheh (now you know loh miss tweety birdie)... Was comtemplating which one i should get for myself. Tried out both. Personally i kinda like the Green-Apple smell, very distinct and unique smell i must say, but my friend says the Red-Apple smells better and more suitable for office wear...So after a long comtemplating which i should get, and also with the coaxing from teh sales-guy...(u guys better not fall prey to this sales fella, he can really sweet tok you till the birds comes down fom the tree!!) i end up buying .....BOTH!!!!!LOL!!! yeah.... Since it is sooo hard to decide, what the heck , get both lar!! So here you have , the Red and Green Apple :) I wore the Red-Apple today....but somehow no one notice the smell wor.......:(
