You & I

I am NOT what i am

Its Monday guys..What more can i say...Things started slow these morning. Weekend was a pack with gym stuff and dinner with gymmates. Really took a toll outta me. Spent the whole day Saturday in the gym (no, i am not gym freaks if you guys r thinking here). Did my usual double class, and later a replacement before proceed to some special event for the nite. By the time everything ends, i was totally exhausted, mentally and physically. Next morning, gotta wake up early to go for Ching Meng. Got back round 11am ish, straight went to bed sleep till afternoon, woke up, went to gym again!! for a class before head back home and sleep again!! yeah!! i was that tired guyz.....Sunday night had dinner with my gym-mates. Enjoyed tremendously!! Special shout-out to our own TF- "thinbakeboys" in the house yoh! :) the chocolate was SINFUL to say the least, but nevertheless it taste SUPERBLY HEAVEN!!! Let me booked one for my next b'day yoh! :) hahahah..Wasn't really in my good form yesterday night. guess the oversleeping has somehow make me look more blur and out of state. Again, once the dinner was over, head straight back home, iron my shirt for next working day, caught some tv before i head to bed at sharp midnight!!!!!! hahahah.......Really can sleep yoh!!!

During the dinner yesterday, realised, most of my gymmates does come here to read my daily bloging rubbish. And is funny to know that, someone mentioned that the person who blogs in here, is sooooo different to the person in real-life. It really hit on me when i heard that comment. Not like i am tryin to be someone else while i'm blogging, but this is how i normally write or type. Maybe i don't normally type "l*n ah, t*u ah, m*t ch8t ah "all this words....hahahaha, but doesn't mean i am a totally different person in here. Hmm..nevertheless, i took the comment as a compliment. I hope my reallife is not that obnoxious or snobbish to make u think i am that bad in person yoh! :p

Is just after lunch, has some time to spare. Most of my msn mates are either away for lunch, or taking a nap now. Left me alone here in my cubicle. Nothing much to surf in the net. Obviously there are things are bothering me lately. As much as i wanan blog about it. But there are times when come to it, i just do not know how to put it words. Espeacially for the past couple of weeks or month so. Going through this whirlpool of mix-emotion lately. Really clouding my own judgement as to what i should do, whether what i am doing now is the right thing. As much i try not to get into me, but i guess my will-power is not has power as i hope to be. Already face a failure before, and yet i am still sticking my head into the hole again, hoping a light will shine at the end of the tunnel eventually. But after few attempts, i guess i know what is the outcome by now. Is a losing battle...i know....i should just move on.....I wanan be happy. I do not wanan think too much anymore. Maybe i am not as good as what i think or capable of. Maybe that is how the way it should be. Maybe......maybe is not meant to be......Maybe....i am just kidding myself here...Maybe i'm just being naive and foolish to think that i will stand a chance for it. Maybe there is just too many maybe in life.....Maybe if i don't think about it much, dont let it bother me anymore, than i might be a happier person these dayz. I hope......i wish....i really want to be happy as to what i am doing now.....Gawd, pls show me the right path here..i am really really lost.....

Labels: Personal Thoughts

posted by xPeace05 @ 4/09/2007 01:10:00 PM