What is friend?
hi peeps, hope all my readers are doing fine and staying healthy as always. Is being awhile since my last entry. I know,nowadays i hardly update my blog. Not that there is nothing to update, on a contrary there are lots of stuff i could update here,whether inregards to personal matters or my gym stuff. As a matter of fact when i started to blog, the main objectivewas just help me to past time during my graveyard shift those days. But ever since i hv move on to my current job, i don'tneed to work shift, back to nine to five job (which i am not complaining at all). So decided to maintain the blog by updating stuffthat is related to my gym stuff.
Im not those ppl who can share everything from inside-out, espeacially when comes to matter that is close to someone heart. Thereforei really salute those bloggers who can really pour thier hearts out without any hesitation whatsoever. But today, or should i writetonight, i have something to rant about. Not so much of ranting, but just wanan get it out from my mind that has been bothering melately. I try my best not to make it too confusing for you readers to digest (but u know lah!, can get carried away hahaha)
Friends. What is a defination of friends? You don't need me to copy/paste from wikipedia inorder for you ppl to understand the wordfriends here. To me, i do cherish the friendship i have all this while. Regardless close or far, to me, friends does play animportant role/ or should i say, shape me to who i am today. Friends to me is very important. I have close friends, friends that i hveknown since childhood schoold days (till today we still keep intouch). I have also friends that i do keep base very daily, which someoffthem are so-closed now that we can just chat about anything that is undernearth the sky. There are also friends, that is so-closed to youthat you can also confide your heart n problem to that person whithout feeling any hesitation at all.
From friends, we get to know each other better, understand everyone better n also treat each other respect n learn from each other,whether good or bad just to constantly improve ourselves to be a better person who we are today.There are also friends, who really caresfor your wellbeing. So to me, this are the friends i never take for granted.
i do consider myself as a very caring person (to certain extend lar ...hahah), and i can say i am kinda sensitive with the surrouding as well.When i do see a friend needs help or sense something is not right, i will try to do something to make my friend feel better. Ofcos there are times someppl just dowan us to barge into thier personal matter, so there is also a limit as to how much we wanna care or help. Having said that, we are human-being, we have flaws in ourselves. As much as we like to deny it, but there are times,when you do somehting for yourfriends, there is this small itsy-tiny-weeny in your hearts that tells u, hopefully sometimes when u go thru the same phase, u would have that personwill do the same thing back to you. Although i must say i try not to expect anything from anyone, but it does happen to me sometimes....yes sometimes, or should i say once in blue moon lar...Espeacially to friends who you really treat them very close to you.
Im sure lately u guys know im busy with the gym launch and stuff. Lots of thing need to do for hte launch. Have to prepare/conduct tuitions, at the sametime have to do classes as well, and then when the launch is drawing near, you have to do practises. So it does take its toll at one point. Sometimes you will getsome supporting words thru your mates (you know who you guys are ) and that does really make my days. Cos they do know what i am going thru, cos they are alsogoing thru the same process n path as well. Then you realised, there are ppl who are so ignorant, And here we are, doing the same thing, doing the same launch, although different team, and yet no words or support, niether do you have anything coming out from that person at all.
Now the thing is, or you ppl would be wondering, why it this bothering me. Well, i too ask myself, why? I realised, to certain extend i do treat this person very close to me as friend at one time.When this person started to involve in the gym stuff, these person came in way (im not saying asking for help) but then to certain extend just wanan be part of the team. I did what i did, cos i do know how hard to be a newbie in this circle. And at one time, we were friends, well, to me i do consider these person as one of my close friends....But things happened, and we went our separate ways and yada yada yada...hiak!Although we have not been keeping intouch that much these days, but knowing each other what we have been goign thru lately, maybe an sms or word of support that will do good, well to me it does makes alotof different. But sad to say, something what u hope or wish, doesn't come as it is. Then it hit me, what is friend to us? And these person did ask me at one time, and i qoute, why can't we be friends? At that time i don't hv an answer to these person question. But now,if these person ask me again, i will able to tell these person the answer..........
And by writing this entry down, i do hope i have move on...( i know, purple dino is gonna kill me! hahaha). I would like to close this chapter of my life n seek other greater things in life and alsocherish what i do have with me now, which you, you, and you.........
Labels: Personal Thoughts
B U S Y
One word says it all....B U S Y !!!
Yeap, have been very busy for the couple of weeks, having to troubleshoot some system problem that till today sitll no solid solution. Have been working round the clock these week on this issue...Eyes also like panda liow. At the same time have to do classes as well.. Really taking a toll on me now. Can't think str8. Anybody bothers or irritates me will hve to get a big kahuna bitching from me!! :p
Sorry not able to update my blog that frequently as well. For the last entry of the so-called BIG thingy. Well, after a long long deliberation with ownself, i decided not to say anythign about it, and leave it as it is. If you know, you know lar. If you dont......i really don't care :p hiak!!! lol!!!!
Back to my work now.........sighhhhhhh
Labels: Personal Thoughts
Move on ?
On the weekend, went movie outing with purple dino watched Fantastic Four....Well, not that fantastic to my liking lar....so so only...Felt like watching a tv series more. Anyway, we were gathering outsite the cinema, while waiting for other friends to turn up, purple dino strikes up a very interesting subject
Purple dino: wei wei, come come, i show you
ex.
xpeace05 : huh, why show me?
purple dino: he is in the group mar, and somehow i gotto know about it and now i wanna show u loh...
xpeace05 : siow!! no nid!! don't bother showing it to me.
purple dino: LOL!!! say already move on....but actual fact not move on at all.
xpeace05: ......................
After that, took me awhile to digest what purple dino was tryin to tell me.......Didn't really bother me that much, but seriously, after a long deep thought.....have i not move on? If i am not move on, wouldn't i be interested to know who is that person ex instead shrugged it off? Hmm...yeah....as matter of fact, i dind't even wanna know, and didn't even wanna bother as to who is who is that person ex......Doesn't really matters to me anymore. So purple dino, i wanna tell you, you are wrong!! I have INDEED move on.....And move on it is!!! :pLabels: Personal Thoughts
Afterthought
having my tau foo far now while staring at my notebook screen blankly as to what i should be updating for this time round entry. Not that i do not have any thing to update, as matter a fact, there are LOTS of things i wanna write it down...but then after having a long deep thought, some matter are better just left as it is rather than blogging it. Actual fact i did wrote a kinda long entry on this particular issue, at the end i decided to retract the whole thing. Just aint worth the time and filling up my blog. I need to move on and move on it is. I'm READY for a new beginning....and i am very sure i am...Purple dino you will be my pillar to lean on brader :)
Couple of weeks back was a very busy weeks for me in terms of work and also gym classes. In work, had a project need to be implemented and later found out some teething problem. As usual we as support person, end up need to troubleshoot the problem and since this is new system implementation with no training or whatsoever, it was practically shooting blanks everywhere. Thank goodness, luck was on my side (Good Luck!! Good Luck!! ...oh no, not again) manage to drill down the issue and solve it on time b4 the implementation date kicks in. That aside, have to prepare myself physically and mentally for the gym classes launch as well. And top it off, these quarter, the gym that i am tied to at the moment decided to bring forward for an early opening on a new gym center. Obviously that didn't help much either.....So basically lots of thing was going on at teh same time. Again, with mind focus and not getting myself too pressure by it, things went as plan and smoothly...The gym was finally opened on the 1st June 2007, with minor hiccups and not forgetting abit dramaty coming from EFIL ...heheheh and hte launch was a successfull one as well.
Personally i am very happy wiht my launch this time round. I was ask by Purple Dino to help out to launch the Attack this time, and i think i delivered it ok. No screw-ups on the chorey....Actually i m kinda proud of myself too, afterall i just started to learn the chorey like 3 days b4 the actual launch date....hiak!!!! And ofcos my BJAM launch...i am soo soo happy with the output . Can really see all my jammers put thier heart and soul, thier energy and the enthsiamsm that shows on that day.....not forgetting having to come for the late tuitions and practices. I really salute this team. Guys, (you know who you ppl are wink wink) you ppl really make my day. And i am very very proud to have you in the team!! Kudos!!! Also to all my friends (y2wk and kak anita) who turn up on that day, thanks for the support guys. Really appreciate. Is nice to see some old faces and doing the class together. I do hope you ppl really had a good time. Next will be the launched picture you guys must be asking. Well, as at this moment, i have yet to receive any of the pictures yet. But reassure, once i have those pictures, i shall upload in here.. So stay tune guys.....Oh ...my tau foo far almost finished liow...Next bring in my tau cheong sui........hiak!!!
Labels: Personal Thoughts
A Closing Chapter
Is just twenty minutes past two on a raining saturday morning. Yeap, what a nice weather to curl yourself up in bed and go to sleep. I'm sure heading to my bed right after i am done with these entry today. Juz got back from a movie outing wiht my dear fren yw2k. Watched this movie called 23. Brainless to say the least. Anyway i know eFIL is waiting anxiously for this entry today. and here it is my fren ...as promised.
Lately have been going through a windwhirl of mix-emotion (most of you ppl will label me dramaqueen) but heck!! life can't be dull all the time right :) Anyway, today, it has reached for its closing chapter. Had a conversation these afternoon with these person, and the conversation somehow lead from one place to another and the next thing you know....like a bullet to your heart...BAM!!! it hit!!!The one statement these person made has somehow shown me the right path i should be taking all this while. The one statement these person made that has somehow show me how foolish and stupid i am to cling on to a false hope that was never be. The one statement these person made that makes me just wanan sprung up from my seat and start to throw chairs and table just to release my volcano-big-kahuna-reaction after hearing it. That one statement these person made today, that makes me to draw these conclusion........is time for me to move on.......
Is not a choice. Is not a "what if" situation. Is pretty clearcut. unless i still wanna be put into a fantasy world hoping the ending will be "they live happily ever after" writing across at the center of a white page, this is the right decision. Gott to move on. Is for my own good...is for these person own good....and also is for my frens own good too, not having to hear my drama stuff anymore ...hahah :) Really had a good long thought today as to what these person as to say to me. It is clearly drawn, no matter how much effort i put in, it is and has always been a one-way-street. And i must do thank these person for having hte guts to say whatever he had said today that brings me back to reality.
I have no hatred on these person, neither do i have anything to do wiht these person anymore. Yes, we are friend. And friend is the furthest it can be .....well thats how i see it for now. Can't really predict the future, can i. As for now, one thing for sure, i do have friends surrounding me to give me that support that i need and i do cherish it very much. Ppl like EFIL, he has to endure my whining and groninng these afternoon , although not that he careless . And on top of that, he make me abutter cake!! awwww.......i am soo touched ! :p I have ppl like the purple dinosaurs, who is one person that i tell n share anything everything under the sky. Alos ppl like yw2k, who tonight share a movie outing wiht me, thanks pal....How much more can i ask for ?.....
Time to close this chapter. No more drama drama entry stuff for awhile....i hope....hahahah. Weekend is here. Better get full-use of it. Rite peeps. I guess i see you ppl on the next entry..Till then , thanks guys. Last but not least, to my dear purple dinosaurs, like i told you these afternoon, i'm gonna put this in record here. Yeah...your babies are alll FARK UP! Period.
Labels: Personal Thoughts
I am NOT what i am
Its Monday guys..What more can i say...Things started slow these morning. Weekend was a pack with gym stuff and dinner with gymmates. Really took a toll outta me. Spent the whole day Saturday in the gym (no, i am not gym freaks if you guys r thinking here). Did my usual double class, and later a replacement before proceed to some special event for the nite. By the time everything ends, i was totally exhausted, mentally and physically. Next morning, gotta wake up early to go for Ching Meng. Got back round 11am ish, straight went to bed sleep till afternoon, woke up, went to gym again!! for a class before head back home and sleep again!! yeah!! i was that tired guyz.....Sunday night had dinner with my gym-mates. Enjoyed tremendously!! Special shout-out to our own TF- "thinbakeboys" in the house yoh! :) the chocolate was SINFUL to say the least, but nevertheless it taste SUPERBLY HEAVEN!!! Let me booked one for my next b'day yoh! :) hahahah..Wasn't really in my good form yesterday night. guess the oversleeping has somehow make me look more blur and out of state. Again, once the dinner was over, head straight back home, iron my shirt for next working day, caught some tv before i head to bed at sharp midnight!!!!!! hahahah.......Really can sleep yoh!!!
During the dinner yesterday, realised, most of my gymmates does come here to read my daily bloging rubbish. And is funny to know that, someone mentioned that the person who blogs in here, is sooooo different to the person in real-life. It really hit on me when i heard that comment. Not like i am tryin to be someone else while i'm blogging, but this is how i normally write or type. Maybe i don't normally type "l*n ah, t*u ah, m*t ch8t ah "all this words....hahahaha, but doesn't mean i am a totally different person in here. Hmm..nevertheless, i took the comment as a compliment. I hope my reallife is not that obnoxious or snobbish to make u think i am that bad in person yoh! :p
Is just after lunch, has some time to spare. Most of my msn mates are either away for lunch, or taking a nap now. Left me alone here in my cubicle. Nothing much to surf in the net. Obviously there are things are bothering me lately. As much as i wanan blog about it. But there are times when come to it, i just do not know how to put it words. Espeacially for the past couple of weeks or month so. Going through this whirlpool of mix-emotion lately. Really clouding my own judgement as to what i should do, whether what i am doing now is the right thing. As much i try not to get into me, but i guess my will-power is not has power as i hope to be. Already face a failure before, and yet i am still sticking my head into the hole again, hoping a light will shine at the end of the tunnel eventually. But after few attempts, i guess i know what is the outcome by now. Is a losing battle...i know....i should just move on.....I wanan be happy. I do not wanan think too much anymore. Maybe i am not as good as what i think or capable of. Maybe that is how the way it should be. Maybe......maybe is not meant to be......Maybe....i am just kidding myself here...Maybe i'm just being naive and foolish to think that i will stand a chance for it. Maybe there is just too many maybe in life.....Maybe if i don't think about it much, dont let it bother me anymore, than i might be a happier person these dayz. I hope......i wish....i really want to be happy as to what i am doing now.....Gawd, pls show me the right path here..i am really really lost.....
Labels: Personal Thoughts
