Wandering - Part 2
This entry is related to the previos entry. So that explains the title...like a US drama series...just hope it never ever reached to episode 24 for that matter...else u guys will be bored to death with my dramaing. Didn't really had a good sleep for the past days, decided to call off day from work on monday. Try to force myself to get some sleep. later in teh afternoon, decided to just go out, take some fresh air n do some window shopping. Do u ppl have this habit, when u r down or not happy, u do some silly things, like down your sorrow with food or even go n splash money on rubbish in hte mall? Well, thats basically what i did, splash money on some rubbish in the mall. Manage to get some decent stuff, but then atleast it distract my mind for bout 2hrs to think all those stuff....Very tired, eyes feeling heavy n watery, yet need to go do back-2-back classes. And to make matter worse, some members purprosely turn up to join yr class. And u can't just dissapoint your members just bcos you are in no position to heee haaaa on the stage......Again hve to put on my different persona and make sure the members had a good workout n fun!!! . After my last class, jsut gone home str8, had my dinner, there i goes, to slumber land....
Wandering
It is three am on a monday morning. Raining heavily now. COuldn't sleep. Physically and mentally tired, but yet couldn't sleep. lately lots of thing going through my mind. The moment i close my eyes, lot of things just flashes across me, lots of question, lots of uncertainty, lots of confusion. Don't ask me, seriously i too asking myself the same question here. WHat have i done?? Is like every step i take, or every word taht i have express, every move that i ahve that, every action i have made or every decision i've done, the problem is like getting bigger n bigger and just waiting for the big-kahuna shit to burst! and fall apart....anytime.....sigh....When is dis going to stop? Don't think i'm mentally fit to work today, gonna call in sick...or disturb, or mentally unstable.....or in the verge of a breakdown (drama!!!), whatever u wanna called it....i nid sleep..........
Labels: Problem
I'm Back
I'm back guys...haha...many thanks for all the comments you guys put in. Appreciate much. Holiday was great!! It was jsut brilliant. The most important of all is the group that i went with. Purple dino and yw2k and some insurance name, u guys were the bomb!! hahah. The time we had together, fun, laughter and some really close friendship moment, really mean so much to me. Won't exchange with anything. It will go down as one of the best moment in my life so far. And i'm already looking forward to another round in DJ STation guys.....hahaha
TOok some time off to settledown. Yeah, is a long time to settledown i must say..haha. Just thought to myself i might just need that little space for myself, to think what i have and what i really want in life from this juncture. Did lots of thinking, lots of soul-searching...hahaha, drama rite? Well can't help it. I'm a cancerian, so blame me :). Seek what is the meaning of friendship and love. How much would u do for the seek of friendship or love. Can you draw the line between friendship and love. Or is tehre such thing as frienship and love at the same time...
Was wathcing one of the episode in Greys Anatomy Season 3, where the title character meredith almost died from drowning. Was really drama the whole episode to say the least. I cried watching (yeah, men do cry ok, cos we got feelings too, hahah). One thing that strike me really deep, is the friendship that the lead character has wit her bunch of friends and ppl surrrouding her.To have everyone shade tears for her, such a poignant moment. The love that dis ppl have in her...
Then the other night, caught this series Queen Elizabeth I, starring Helen Mirren (she won the golden globe for best actress in the role), just superb from the storyline to the acting. One dialogue that really captures my attention, b4 she died, she utter dis words "the most hardest thing to govern, is the heart.....". How true and simplicity said.
Love can really put oneself into turmoil if you really do not how to control it. B4 you know it, it just hit you like a strong wave and the next thing you know, you are in the world of confusion. And the effect strikes in, the things that you do for the sake of love. Then slowly once u get grip of yourself, you ask yourself, what is true love? Is true love is something u will do anything for that person? Or issit something that u will forgive for that person negative behaviour and attitude and accept that person as who he/she is ? Or is true love when u will drop everything that is important to you just to be wiht that person to spent time together? Or is true love is somethign when u see someone who u love so much in heart, having fun with another person, but u pretend nothing had happeend and cry yourself silly....alone? Or issit something that you know for the fact, the battle you are fighting for is proven futile and yet u still wanna give it a shot to see for yourself ? What is true love ?.........
One thing i do know for the fact, friendship. What am i gonna do without this friendship. Gawd knows what will happen to me in a foreign soil if without this frienship. To have a shoulder to cry on when you most need it, and this frienship is there for you anytime. No request, no gain, nor return in favour.....I really do cherish dis friendship to the bottom of my heart. And with this i hv to give a big thank you to you....purpledino.........
