You & I

Black hole

Down to the pit. Really feeling depressed and not happy these couple of days. Several factors contributed to this state of mine. With so many things happening at the same time, you just do not know where to start or even to work on. Worst still if you feel like you hv been force to carry out the task. To top it off, you have to control the crowd where majority are females!!! (no offence gurls). Really had a tough time dealing with this species.

Lately was given the task to so-called "supervise" this bunch of newbies for the up and coming BJam release. Already know upfront that this is gonna be a tough assignment, but didn't really know how tough is it until the day comes. It almost drain out all my energy. Conducted 3 tuitions so far, and every time i have to watch what comes out from my mouth inorder not to hurt this gurls feelings. And when you think your job is done, there u have the launch team to think about. Just dreadful. Everyone eyes looking at you, hoping she, she or she will be in the launch team. Gosh!!! On the other hand, i have to listen to the head GXC about who shoud be in and who should not. Driving me nuts!!! When comes the day i have no choice but to drop one or two of them fom the original plan, there comes the gurls saying i have no confidents in them. sighh......gawd....pls help.........

So with all this thing going on, it really dampens my mood. As much as i want all to be in the team, but the fact some of these gurls really need to work on thier moves...And is really sad when u know u are giving them all sorts of help you can provide, but then end up they get the wrong interpretation saying i hv no confidents in them.....When the task was past to, i thought, well, couldn't be that bad afterall. But after going through it, i'm really have second thought of holding the post. Imagine every tuition you have to make sure you know your stuff well, in and out, watch what you say inorder not to hurt anyone feeling, at the same time to gain respect from them, which to me, i felt is the most toughest part of all!! If that person dont like you, no matter how you wanan help or give feedback, she will sure end up saying something back in return eg. "no lar, the dvd doesn't show that way", "issit? i remember the movement is like this"...sigh....This lead to the point i wannna say here, i feel like i have been force to do something i am not happy to do it. Is like i have to proof to this ppl that i have what it takes. Well, do i have to go to that extend? To proove myself to you ppl ? Felt so stress-out, frustrated and that leads to the current mood i am in now. I really hope the launch will do well coming next monday. I have really done what i could to make it work. The rest I shall jsut leave it to the Higher above to dictate. And i would like to take this opportunity to extend my thanks to my dear gurl, Leo, without her presence during the tuition, i don't think i can sustain till today. Thank you gurl, really appreciate much much!! MUAH MUAH!!!


anyway, will be out of networld for the next couple of days. Going for the Bstep training. Sigh..another thing that is not something i am looking forward to but then i have no choice to take it up. Pray for me that i will go through this round. Will blog more about it when i get back next week. Till then, you guys have a good weekend. ciao.......

posted by xPeace05 @ 5/31/2006 09:03:00 PM